God bless them

What happened last week was devastating to our nation, our safety, our thoughts, our hearts, our souls, and to 26 entire families. Christmas time is supposed to be one of PEACE....and this year is it anything but.

This tragic event has changed the world.

I cannot believe something so horrifying has happened in our country. I have to ardently force myself to focus my thoughts elsewhere as this grief is too overwhelming. I have been fully submerging myself in my daughter's smile but the profound sadness I feel for those families is constantly lingering.  As a parent of a small child I am particularly sensitive. As I am modifying our daily lives I am anxious about her future. And I think about the day that she finds out about this. Whether she's 7 years old or 30 years old, I dread that day. What will I tell her?

We have been out several times in the past week and there is a distinct energy- People are looking at children and seeing them as the rare precious gems that they are. People are more protective, affectionate, compassionate, patient, empathetic and loving with their own children as well as every other child who passes by. I can FEEL the appreciation of how truly special each individual child is....It feels as if I'm walking around with a celebrity.

I will not let one person who is so bad stop me from trying to be good and do good. More than ever I am grateful to be a stay at home mommy and I pledge to being the very best mother I can be. My every moment is dedicated towards raising a child who is a gift to the world.

Please be kind, be cautious, be grateful, be respectful and let our hearts be with those precious babies and their dear parents who are suffering.

I think we are all asking God 'why did this happen?' 'how did you let this happen?' 'how can I help?'

Personally, I believe that God exists, I believe that evil exists. I believe that God is closest to those with broken hearts and I believe that His heart is broken too.

"God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away."
 Revelations 21:4

I wanted to share this post below that I found online, before I do, I want to say that it is ONLY with the absolute deepest respect and sympathy that I have chosen to share these words. This poem was not written by me, and I cannot say that I like it because of the reason for which it has been written. I think it's a perspective worth sharing....

"It was 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.

their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.

they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.

they were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.

they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.

"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.

"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."

when what to their wondering eyes did appear,

but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.

He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.

then He opened His arms and He called them by name.

and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring.

those children all flew into the arms of their King

and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,

one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.

and as if He could read all the questions she had

He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."

then He looked down to Earth, the world far below

He saw all the hurt, the sorrow, and woe

then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,

"Let My power and presence re-enter this land."

"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"

I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools."

then He and the Children stood up without a sound.

"come now my children, let me show you around."

excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.

all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.

and I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,

"in the midst of this darkness, I am still the light."

Braces-5 months

I cannot believe I've already had my braces for 5 months! It's almost half over!! They said 12-18 months, leaning towards the 12, and with my positive mindset and my agreeable teeth, I'm sure of its duration ending at the 12 month mark. So I think these puppies will be celebrating my 30th birthday with me but they will be off soon afterwards!

I am so happy with myself for finally going through with it, especially since the time has really gone by so quickly. I'm pretty used to them, I don't feel so self conscious any more-for 2 reasons 1. now I have braces on teeth that are actually pretty straight and 2. that heinous coil was removed months ago. The first month looked the worst but now I don't feel like they're THAT noticeable. My perspective has completely changed since I first GOT BRACES back in July. I am particularly proud of myself for this life list item because I wanted them for SO long (12 years of consultations) and I finally just ripped off the band aid! And it was so worth it!

4 months ago!

a video message from Santa

"Mommy Koni in da tree!" 

one good thing....I donated 19 books to my local library.

one Christmas thing....I asked Santa to send my daughter a little video...he did-and he did it for free- check out his website to request your personalized video from Santa at www.portablenorthpole.com

December 8 & 9

one Christmas thing....Admittedly I did miss two days this week, my orthodontist put in a stronger wire and it has knocked my out for three days this week! Not only is my mouth in agony, but because of that I can't sleep or eat hardly anything so I've had very little energy. Alas, I cannot complain too much, it's not as if I was mugged and beaten in an alley. So today December 9th, I more than made up for the few days I was worthlessly lying around the house.

1. I finished a holiday scarf.

I'm such an idiot-as we were walking into the store I was thinking about all the compliments I thought I'd be getting on my Christmas scarf-no body say anything.

2. Took our daughter to see Santa. (total bonus, I was going to take her somewhere else that had a ridiculously long line and cost $40-I didn't even realize they had a Santa here)

It was totally free, maybe a 10 minute wait and I got to take my own pictures!

3. I wrapped presents.

I cannot wait to see the look on my 2 year old's face on Christmas morning!

4. Went to Bronner's. 
THE LARGEST CHRISTMAS STORE IN THE WORLD!! If you have never been you must go one day, especially around Christmastime it is really something to see. I hit the jackpot when I was born growing up a mere 45 minutes from this gem de Noel. Basically it is 100,000 square feet of everything and anything Christmas.

This tree was obviously gigantic...it also was $3,600.

one good thing....Being out for a few days I didn't do anything so yesterday (Sunday December 9) I seemed to have made up for my time lost.

1. We donated $14 to our church.

2. I bought a lovely bracelet for $7 benefiting HIV positive females in Africa.

3. Donated $30 to something else.

 We have decided to not buy Christmas gifts this year (except for our daughter) instead our church is offering gift cards that people can use to donate to which ever cause they would like. For instance we purchased two $15 gift cards which could be donated towards building a well in Africa, or providing medical care for those in need in India.

This was an easy decision for us this year, we decided to spend money to help someone SURVIVE as opposed to buy something for someone who doesn't really need anything and probably doesn't even want what you've given them. Don't get me wrong, I love giving gifts-I put a lot into my gift giving and I thoroughly enjoy it. And, similar to every other person who breathes air I LOVE receiving gifts but this year, I just feel like I've been totally blessed; we bought a house, I got my braces, my husband let me get a kitten and we were able to fix up certain things in our house so it would be ridiculous for me to expect any thing or receive anything.

I am, however, crazy excited for Christmas morning this year. This is not only our first Christmas in our house but also our daughter's first Christmas where she understands. She knows who Santa Clause is and can open her own gifts now. Because of her, Christmas is extra, extra, extra special this year.

December 4

It makes me laugh every day! I actually hope she doesn't disappointment tomorrow morning- I'm excited to wake up in the morning and run into the dining room-I don't care what's under the tree....but I'm hoping to find something in it!

one good thing....My mom is working midnights so I took her a french vanilla coffee on the way home from hula tonight.


one Christmas thing.... Tonight was our final hula class for the season, and it was so much fun! My daughter was so funny, she had me laughing all throughout class-during class we learned the hula dances for 'Here Comes Santa Claus" and "Mele kalikimaka".

December 3

The daily photo of Koni in the Christmas tree.

one good thing...I donated $3 to St Jude's Hospital at CVS then $1 to Toys for Tots at Babies R Us.


one Christmassy thing....I painted my toenails red and green.

LIFE LIST: TAKE POLYNESIAN DANCE CLASS

"The hands of the hula dancer are ever going out in gesture, her body swaying and pivoting itself in attitude of expression. Her whole physique is a living and moving picture of feeling, sentiment, and passion." 

When: Classes began in April 2012. I had zero intentions of doing this any time in my immediate future but I often will check prices whilst doing my LIFE LIST research sometimes just for fun and sometimes just to get an idea of what the cost will be. When I sent a price request via email I got a phone call from the instructor an hour later telling me that a family class was starting in 6 hours. I was a little hesitant because my daughter was only 16 months old and I knew it would be a challenge. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made! Our Hula has become a large part of our lives and it is my hope that it always will be.

Cost: This first class was $45 for me and no charge for Z at that time she was under 2 years old. The class we're currently enrolled in was $60 for the both of us.

Why this is on my list? When we were in Hawaii, we of course saw a luau...actually we saw two-and I thought it would be such fun to learn. Not too long after we came home I actually passed a Polynesian Dance Studio in Michigan-it was too far from my house but I had hope that there'd be more!

Something I would recommend? Yes! What fun! When you take dance classes you not only learn the dance but you also get to watch your instructor who is no doubt a professional, which is like free entertainment in my opinion! It's wonderful for kids, even though my two year old doesn't spend a lot of time concentrating she highly enjoys playing with the other kids and dancing along to the loud Hawaiian tunes. Now my daughter is 3 years old and she knows most of the words and dance steps to 7 different songs. It's incredible to see how far she's come.

What would I do differently? Nothing at all.

Will I do it again? Well we are currently on our fifth class and most certainly will be signing up for our sixth come January!

Was it life changing? Oh yes! This group of people have become 'ohana' like family to us, it is good, clean fun and my daughter actually picks up some of the moves but more so- she is singing the songs!!! It is so adorable, especially since we don't really focus on 'singing'- certainly there is an element to focusing on the words because the dance corresponds with the words. It's just another gift I feel like my daughter's been given. Potentially she could stick with this when she's older and if not I just think it is so important to expose her to as much as possible.