That's NOT for Me! : Become Vegan

I tried to be a vegan once in high school because my lab partner was and I wanted to see what it was like....I lasted 15 minutes and I felt lightheaded so I put the kibosh on that. I used to think vegans were nuts but after my recent encounter with food poisoning I decided to go ovo-lacto veggie for a while, except on the holidays of course. I love meat but organic meat is very expensive and I am so grossed out with the idea of preservatives and salmonella I think I'm going to just live off raisin bagels and grilled cheese sandwiches temporarily. I'm 85% serious about going veg, I could never become vegan because I like to eat food that taste good, I think this is a terrific idea for someone who is very dedicated!

That's NOT for Me! : Nudest Colony

Going to a nudest colony....can you imagine? Take some time to think about, all I have to say is 1. can you imagine having an argument with some while totally nude and 2. do they walk around passing gas? I just think if they are unruly enough to not wear clothes why bother holding in your farts? Obviously this is not something I am going to sign up to do anytime soon but it might be a good choice for some of you nuts!

That's NOT for Me! : Join The Mile High Club

   Personally this is the most ridiculous things I can imagine wanting to become a member of the Mile High Club. Let's forget about the fact that the bathroom on an airplane barely fits one person comfortably. When I am on an airplane it is all I can do to keep myself from going into cardiac arrest. I like to spend my flying time shaking, sweating, crying, praying and checking my pulse-being intimate is the absolute last thing from my mind! Obviously I am not a good flyer, well not right now but it's on my list to calm the f word down when I get on an airplane, but I like to post things that I think others might like to put on their LIFE LISTS! So best of luck!

That's NOT for Me! : Eat Raw Sushi

   We are not supposed to be eating raw animals: tapeworms, salmonella, mercury are just some of the risks taken- that is why we were given the gift of fire. When it's cooked, it's proof that it's dead. It looks so gross, I'm sure the texture in your mouth leaves something to be desired. Cooked sushi tastes great but you couldn't pay me to eat it before that sucker sits in a frying pan for at least 15 minutes! I like to make sure my food has time to reconnect with their family members in heaven before I begin to put parts of their dead bodies in my mouth. So this is not something that I will be adding to my list but I think it is a good thing for the person who is culinary adventurous.

That's NOT for Me! : Drive a Motorcycle

DRIVING A MOTORCYCLE 
   I have been on motorcycles before, only with my dad, I do not think I would ever get on one with anyone else, in fact I will probably never get on one again. I just have no desire and I have heard so many horror stories--that were too close to home. My husbands uncle was in a Motorcycle accident, he lost his arm. A friend of my father in law was in a motorcycle accident and lost his legs. It's one thing to trust yourself when you get on the road in any sort of vehicle but you CANNOT trust anyone else that is driving. Why not? Because they all have their head up their ass. And with so many people now texting while driving it is so much more dangerous. So I personally have no desire to do this but I think it's a great idea for someone else to put it on their life list. If I had it my way I would drive an army tank to the grocery store with the car seat in the back and and a 'Caution Baby on Board' bumper sticker and then I would have everything else delivered. People on the road scare me...they are not 'accidents' someone was either going to fast, not obeying the laws or doing something other than driving-these are not accidents, these are all intentional. If you are interested in learning how to drive a motorcycle here is a good place to start                                                http://online2.msf-usa.org/msf/Default.aspx.

That's NOT for Me! : Run a Marathon

            There is one thing that I am certain that I was NOT put on this earth to do, and that’s running a marathon…well running, walking, bicycling, swimming, I’m not even sure that I am cut out for a movie marathon. How do I know that this is something that I am not meant to do? Because I was not blessed with the gifts of stamina, patience or agility nor was I born from an athletic gene pool. I think accomplishing a marathon for many people is a fantastic goal and one many should consider and strive for especially if you are an active, energetic, sprightly person. If any of you have involved yourselves in a marathon I would love to hear about your experience and what you took away from it!

That's NOT for Me! : Visit Outer Space

            Many people have asked me if I want to put fly into outer space on my list. Are you crazy? I don’t want to fly to Phoenix, why on Earth would I or anyone want to fly to outer space???!!!! The good Lord put us on planet Earth for a reason and I don’t think He wants us zippin’ around where we don’t belong. How do I know this? Isn’t it obvious?? We can’t even breathe without our heads stuck in a capsule! What more does outer space have to do to demonstrate to us that we are not allowed there! I found this on a website, I think it describes perfectly why humans and outer space don’t mix.....

“When the human body is suddenly exposed to the vacuum of space, a number of injuries begin to occur immediately. Though they are relatively minor at first, they accumulate rapidly into a life-threatening combination. The first effect is the expansion of gases within the lungs and digestive tract due to the reduction of external pressure. A victim of explosive decompression greatly increases their chances of survival simply by exhaling within the first few seconds, otherwise death is likely to occur once the lungs rupture and spill bubbles of air into the circulatory system. Such a life-saving exhalation might be due to a shout of surprise, though it would naturally go unheard where there is no air to carry it” –Alan Bellows http://www.damninteresting.com/outer-space-exposure

That's NOT for Me! : Bungee Jump

There is one thing that I highly doubt I would EVER do, and that is bungee jump. I simply do not have a death wish.  Sure, it looks like a lot of fun but it also seems as dangerous as driving the wrong way on I-75 while checking your facebook, it’s possible nothing would happen but probable that something would. My fears include the cord breaking, that my neck would snap like a cold fresh carrot, or that I would pass out at the same time I jump not attaining the needed trajectory and I would slam into the bridge- SPLAT!

That's NOT for Me! : Ride a Bull

            If my bones were made of titanium and I could wear a thin armor capable to withstand one thousand angry pounds and then the Lord Himself came down and assured me that I would not have spinal damage, my brain smashed or my organs squished, then I would ride a bull. Now, I know that I do have ‘ride a longhorn bull’ on my list-this is very different. This is a longhorn in Fort Worth Texas that an older man straps a saddle and reins to and strolls people around down the street that was featured on the Travel Channel. This seems to be quite safe.

      What I am talking about here is a bucking bull that is let loose from a corral and you hold on for dear life until you are inevitably and violently tossed off. What a rush! Surely this sounds ridiculous-who would ever ride a bull? Well, my husband has I am proud to say. If he had the video and pictures I would post them, which I did actually learn how to do today! When he rode, it was under the scrupulous supervision of his buddy who was a professional bull rider. Yes, I believe he put the bull in the enclosure, and opened the door. By doing it this way there was no fee for my husband but if I were to suggest it to someone I would recommend going through this wonderful company called Cloud 9 Living that gives the not-cowboy individual the opportunity to have a thrill ride of a lifetime. I wish I could take the bull by the horns and enroll in bull riding school but I have broken too many bones and had too many surgeries to inflict this torture on myself. Plus, I have been thrown off a horse-it is not only painful but the mental agony of laying on the ground with your head covered wondering ‘where is this horse going to step on me and will it kill me, paralyze me, or break my bones was a life experience I do NOT wish to relive. P.s. the horse did not step on me thankfully.

That's NOT for Me! : Rock Climb

I wish I could put this one on the list because I would LOVE to go mountain/rock climbing but that ship has sailed. When I was 16 I went to one of those indoor rock climbing places. I was very excited. So I got all suited up and had my friend be the spotter with the rope and I started climbing, slow and steady, but then I looked down. I yelled to my friend in a panic to get me down, I could not go up any higher, I was way too scared. Confused he said, ‘but you’re only 2 feet off the ground’. It was then that I knew that my rock climbing future would not be. But it looks like lots of fun and if I ever grow male testicles I will try it again.

That's NOT for Me! : Drink Moonshine

                           

I think trying Moonshine would be a great thing to put on a life list. A guy’s life list. I just always thought I it would be such a neat thing to do-just not for me! A dainty little flower like me couldn’t handle it, that’s for sure.  My assumption that goes along with drinking a shot of Moonshine is that it would burn my nostrils, tongue, esophagus and the lining of my stomach which would lead to a permanent loss of taste and smell, trouble swallowing and complications digesting food. I could even throw up. Or in the worst case scenario it would lead to brain swelling and memory loss.  I mean I don’t know if these things would happen or not, but I’m pretty sure that they probably would.  So-not for me personally but it would be an interesting experience for someone else to have, and I'd if anyone has I'd love to hear what what it was like!