Friday, January 22, 2016

Worst year ever....

2015 was extremely difficult for me that's why I haven't written in over a year. I've missed my blog and I've really missed writing and this is very hard for me to admit and even to talk about but unfortunately after 10 years of marriage I am currently going through a divorce. Both on an emotional and legal level I can't say very much about it but I will say that my heart is broken into a million pieces and I cannot imagine it will ever go back together. 

Over the past few months I've been drowning in sadness but then I started looking at pictures from the past year and realized that even though I was so down at least I was strong enough to pick myself up and CREATE my own happy memories for me and my daughter. Even though I've shed more tears and felt more broken than any person should ever know, I did laugh a lot...I became very close with some friends, saw how much people truly cared about me, I met a lot of new people, some who have changed my life if only temporarily. And I did actually have some interesting LIFE LIST experiences which was unexpected but I've turned to my list when things aren't good and the outcome is life changing.
 Typically when I post my year in review I have 30 or so items to talk about which is certainly not the case today but the experiences I did have were genuinely special and unforgettable. 

The goal of my blog used to be focused on how I lived the life I wanted on a modest budget as a stay at home mom....I guess now it'll be about how I am going to live the life I want on a single mom budget with very little free time. In the past sharing my stories with you and always receiving such positive feedback kept me very motivated and inspired me to do more - there is no doubt that it will do the same for me again but presumably this time all of these things that I write about will become moments in my life that are even more sincere and noteworthy. This blog never has been just about travel or 'just' about "LIFE LIST GOALS" every time I do something from my list it has changed me in some way. So I don't think this ever has been frivolous but it certainly will not be now.

I spent a lot of time feeling overwhelmed this past year but these are things that made me smile....

I took my daughter to a Buffalo Farm that had been on my life list for YEARS and she liked it so much we ended up having her 5th birthday party there! How I convinced 22 people to drive 2 hours away makes me think I'm in the wrong line of work!

We spent the night on the largest sailboat in Michigan-it was AMAZING!
                                                            We were on the news! I"ve always wanted to be on TV!!!
I flew a seaplane!
This proud Michigandar's dreams came true at work! 

We spent a day raspberry picking just because we had time to kill...
We took 2 amazing trips to Traverse City!
I finally bought my DREAM mattress so I could get a good nights sleep...unfortunately the little one likes it too...
Got a major ego boost from a 22 year soldier at one of the finest weddings I've ever attended ;)

In a surprise turn of events I ended up having the best birthday I've ever had...EVER!
I surprised my daughter with a kitten for her birthday!

I took over the 'plant department' beginning with very little knowledge and can now say that I'm a self taught botanical expert!

My daughter and I had our 4th Hula recital and then became part of a group where we performed at 9 other shows this past summer!! AND actually got paid!

We spent a day at can you not be happy when you're jumping...
I got to be very creative at work and also took on a second job that I adore and is proving to be invaluable experience. 

Along with these things I also bought the car of my dreams and I started taking Archery classes that I attend on Friday nights. So maybe it wasn't the worst year was just the year that my heart broke. 

"The more difficult something is, the more God is going to multiply you. you're not going to come out the same. You're going to come out better than you were before." 

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