Tuesday, May 31, 2011


            When I wrote about my car accident I mentioned that this was how I met my husband, here is our story…..

            While I was in the hospital my parents told me that there was a young man, my same age of 17, who was responsible for saving my life, his name was Joel and he had called the hospital and talked to my parents and recounted what happened. I will never forget when my friend Shannon heard about this ‘Joel’ she said ‘well, too bad you have a boyfriend or this would be a great date prospect’ little did she know then that he would become my husband and the father of my child. The first time I talked to him was the day I left the hospital, it was brief and there were several people standing around waiting to see what I would say to him which was not what I wanted. I wanted to be able to tell him just how much he meant to me, how much I appreciated what he did and I wanted to tell him that I owed him my life and that I would do anything for him. This is all very difficult to say with people hovering over. So I did call him a once or twice over the next few months and I did invite him to my graduation party he said he would try to make it. That whole day I was so excited to meet him and I couldn't take my eyes off the driveway waiting to see what my knight and shining armor looked like. He never came. I thought of him often and so badly wanted to be able to repay him for what he did for me. I called him about 6 months after my open house and his mom told me that he had joined the Army, she knew exactly who I was as soon when I told her my name which surprised me-I guess I thought it had all been forgotten. We talked for a while and she gave me his address. I wrote him a letter with all the things I wanted to say to him, I poured out my soul to someone who was really a stranger but felt like so much more. I never received a response to that letter I wrote him and shortly after the twin towers were hit and I was sure I would never be able to meet the person who saved my life. I thought about him nearly every day and always envisioned being behind his mom in line at cvs or something. Mind you this is way before facebook and myspace so I had no way of contacting him and had no idea what he even looked like. I figured he had never received my letter and I assumed that he would be sent to the war in the Middle East.

            Two years later in 2003, I was going to a community college in the area and it was the first day of my summer psychology class. It was a very strange day, it could not have been more beautiful outside but there were tornado drills constantly going off. With no obvious treat of an actual tornado I just went outside to smoke while half the class went into the basement. By about the third time standing outside, smoking a cigarette by myself I noticed a guy my age also smoking alone so I figured I’d go over and strike up a conversation. After a little small talk we quickly started asking the preliminary questions, what’s your name, where are you from…and then he told me which school he graduated high school from. It rang a bell, that was where Joel __, my lifesaver went to school, in the off chance that he would know who I was talking about I asked my new friend Nick if knew Joel _ . ‘He’s my brother!’ he shouted excitedly. I could not believe it but also excited I shouted ‘he saved my life!’ and Nick said ‘Oh my God, you’re that girl from M-59.’ It was official, we were not only clearly talking about the same person but he actually knew who I was? This was one of the greatest days of my life. Nick pulled out a picture of Joel _  in military uniform and told me that he was still enlisted and was stationed in California. Nick said he would call Joel that night and tell him who he was sharing a class with. Here’s where people would normally say ‘it’s a small world’ I say this is a lesson to be learned about communicating with others, if I had not walked over to Nick that day just to chit chat and try to make friends with a new classmate, my life could be totally different. Or it could have just happened in a different way, as I strongly and with good reason believe that what’s meant to be will always find a way.
            The next day Joel _ called me. ( I refer to him with first and last name because this was how I referred to him for three years, I think it was partly because I liked his name so much). So he called and we talked a while, he told me that he had received my letter when he was in basic training but had a girlfriend at that time and didn't think it was appropriate to start talking to me. And he told me all about my accident, these were all things I was hearing for the first time. That night of the accident he and his friend Kevin were making a late run to Taco Bell and they were driving behind the woman who hit me, they saw the entire thing happen. Joel came to my car and assumed there were other people who must have been in the front seat because I was in the back seat. I was the only one in the car and I will never know how I got there. He said my arm was bent backwards and dangling out the window, this makes sense as to why the break in my bone had nearly a two inch gap. I was able to mumble a phone number to him but then passed out. He said he knew I was breathing because it was so cold he could see my breath but then suddenly I stopped. Surely this was when my lung collapsed. It took the paramedics a while to get there as the roads were terrible and now the traffic was worse. If Joel had not been there to get me breathing again so quickly I would have died. He is my real life hero. Of course I was crying while he was telling me all this but I was happy to learn this information and put the pieces together.  
            Within a few weeks we had sent each other pictures and I had mailed him several little gifts just to say thanks. When I received his pictures I could not believe what an incredibly handsome guy I was dealing with. I had never seen someone so handsome, and I still haven’t to this day, almost nine years later. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever have a chance in hell with him, for Pete’s sake he looked like an underwear model!

The man I married
But we talked from time to time just like we were good pals who had known each other forever. Then we started talking every other week, then once a week, then every single day, then more than once a day. Every conversation was so special and made my heart flutter. Not only did I have him on a pedestal for obvious reasons, but I really liked who he was and had fun talking to him, I loved his voice and of course thought he was so good looking. And on top of all that I had always had it in the back of my mind how something like this doesn't ‘just happen’ and I knew that something was supposed to become of this. Now did I actually think that it would turn into a relationship? I hoped it would. There was one point when I told Joel how I felt after he told me he was not going to come home, he would be staying out west and moving in with his girlfriend. I was devastated, I looked forward to him getting out of the army and coming home safely more than anything else. I told him how I felt, that I thought all of this had happened for a reason, he said he had thought of that too but at that time he felt like he needed to pursue his current relationship. One week later they broke up. I believe this girlfriend of his was one of the many people who told Joel he was going to marry that girl from Michigan.

The week we met

            Joel came home at the end of June 2004, he was released from the army just one week shy of being deployed to the middle east. I know he has always felt like he should have been over there with his brothers but I could not be happier that that was something he did not have to go through. Anything could have happened to him over there. We planned to meet up in the early afternoon at the bar on M-59, right in front of where my accident had been. Twelve hours later we had met each others families and had fallen totally in love. Three weeks later he asked me to move in with him, I said no. I didn't think I would ever live with someone without being married but about two days later I asked him if the offer still stood and we moved into our new apartment by the middle of July. Then on September 21st of that summer-two months later-Joel  purposed to me in the Park where we had had our first kiss on our first date. We were married April 2nd 2005, it was a beautiful ceremony and reception.

Nearly six years later I finally felt like I was able to repay Joel for saving my life when I delivered a gorgeous, healthy baby girl on October 7th 2010. I know some people think the idea of soul mates and destiny is silly but with my whole heart I believe that there is one man and one woman who are meant to be with each other in life. Where this is not necessarily a life experience you can ‘plan’ to have I do think you can ‘hope’ for it. If you are a person who wants to meet you perfect match-you have to sincerely believe that your soul mate is out there because if you don’t you will miss the signs. I had dated one or two people who in theory could have been potential life partners but ultimately I knew with certainty that they were not who I was ‘meant’ to be with. Keep your eyes and your heart open and I think God will make it very easy for you. I was led right into the arms of my perfect match from the very beginning on the very night of my accident. There is no doubt in our minds that we were created to be together, how could there be?  I have always known that with him is right where I am destined to be and I think that is what makes our marriage so strong.


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