Sunday, December 30, 2012

Another life changing event in 2012?

"Forgiveness exists because without it families would crumble.”

My Mom with all 4 of her kids.
I thought my adventures, events, and life changing moments for the year had come to an end! I have 

mentioned that I've had some family issues of them being that I have not talked to my oldest brother in 3 years. He used to be my best friend. There are MANY reasons for our three year hiatus. There were many times...well, practically every moment for the past 3 years that I thought the next time I'd probably see him would be at someone's funeral. He lives in Louisiana so that makes the between us distance even greater. He was in Michigan 2 years ago...needless to say I didn't even see him then. A few months ago I heard he was coming on December 27th...I have been stressed to the max about this. I didn't know whether or not I would see him and his family but ultimately I decided that I would do it for my mom and my dad. I know they would be overjoyed to have all their kids and grand kids in the same room.

I insisted that this visit would be cut very short and would probably only last about 30 minutes. I KNEW we would have yet another falling out if it lasted any longer. On the day of I had so much anxiety that I actually felt sick to my stomach and thought about cancelling.

I have never been so happy to be wrong. I saw him the day he arrived at our dad's house and we visited for over 2 hours. His wife gave birth to a little girl three months before I had mine so this was the first time we were meeting our nieces and the first time they met each other. Since my house is baby proofed to the max, and loaded with appropriate toys for a 2 year old girl I invited them over the next day. We then had a second very positive and nice visit. Later that evening we all went over to my moms house so she could have everyone together...we stayed over three hours. Three great visits in two days. There was not one fiber of my being that thought I would be saying those words. I think my ENTIRE family feels overjoyed that this reconciliation had taken place and I know that I now feel so at peace.

In the past year I have mended more relationships (of my own) than I'd like to know that 'snowball effect''s real. And speaking to my brother (and his wife) again were the final pieces of the puzzle. I don't think we'll dive back into the way things used to be but I do think we will text, email and send pictures which is an incredible start. I think I'll even send some birthday cards this year, and they might be back in Michigan this summer....and I will honestly say that I am looking forward to that visit.

It's so amazing...this time last year-my entire life was flipped upside down and so many of my relationships were destroyed....I cannot believe that I will be starting 2013 so differently. There has been an ENORMOUS amount of stress on me and my family this whole year and it took A LOT of work and humility....and tongue biting to get everyone back together again. This time last year I was totally devastated, for months and months I cried every day-so much of my spirit turned into a pile of dust swept under the rug.....then everyone jumped on it a bunch of times. 2012 punched me in the face over and over again, it also left me with my first grey hairs- AND I EARNED THEM!

Today, I am so happy, so at peace and  I believe more than ever that any relationship can be mended. I saw my brother for my parents but it ended up restoring my soul. I welcome 2013 with a hug but I'm also entering this year with a smile on my face.

The 4 of us. The last time we were all in a photo together was in 2005.


  1. Really glad that you and your brother have managed to sort things out. I believe it really does make a big difference resolving issues and trying to mend relationships. I remember reading somewhere that all we really want as humans is love and i think that if you display that then you tend to have better relationships.

    I can imagine this must have been so soothing for the soul and am so glad that you have your brother back again. I completely empathise with you, as i know how difficult family relationships can be and if it anything like mine and my brother's, then it won't be plain sailing, but it will be something to put in the effort in for.

    What a great end to 2012:-)

    1. Family is tough! Especially when marriages and children come in...there's loads more to bicker over now!

      This year I am trying my hardest to be as neutral and non confrontational as ever!!! Its just not worth it to voice my opinions anymore!


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